Do Mutants Have Good Resumes?
by Red Witch
Summary: The XMen look at some job websites and wonder that maybe they should post some resumes online themselves thanks to the chaos the students and Shipwreck create.


**I don't own any X-Men Evolution or GI Joe characters. Really, I don't. Here's some madness that got into my head after reading a few job websites too many. It made me ask myself an interesting question…**

**Do Mutants Have Good Resumes?**

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Scott asked Hank.

"It's worth a try," Hank said as he finished punching in the words from the computer. "There. Now we click and send and wait and see what happens."

"Wait and see if **what** happens?" Logan asked as he entered the room with Xavier.

"Beast put an ad for the Institute on this job website," Scott told him. "You said yourself Professor we need new instructors."

"Good, go on Ebay to see if there are any tanks available," Logan told him.

"I'm being serious," Scott said.

"So am I!" Logan admitted. "Cannonball slipped and accidentally crashed through the south wall again!"

"That's hardly an excuse to get advanced weaponry to use on the students," Hank grinned wryly.

"It is when you consider he was running from a fight Tabitha and Amara started with Bobby and Ray," Logan said. "Those roses are never going to grow back."

"Well here's our ad," Hank decided to change the subject. "Looking for an exciting, challenging career? Want to work with young people and see the world? The Xavier Institute for the Gifted is looking for bright, open-minded individuals to teach in all subjects. Teaching certification preferred but not required. Willing to train the right person."

"By 'right person' you mean whoever shows up?" Logan cracked.

"Forward resume and references to blah blah blah…" Hank continued. "Applicant must love children, animals and not be afraid of loud noises. Military background will be highly considered. Benefits room and board as well as an excellent health and dental plan."

"I added that last part," Scott admitted. "We're getting to be experts at patching ourselves up after each Danger Room session."

"It's innovative," Xavier shrugged. "I'll give you that."

"I still don't know about this Beast," Logan folded his arms. "I mean you don't know what kind of weirdoes are online reading this stuff."

"Coming from someone who is a model of stability and self restraint that's saying something," Hank quipped. "Unlike you, I look forward to meeting new colleagues. Perhaps we shall share new theories or discuss educational strategies?"

"Or if it's a female maybe you can finally get a date around here," Logan said.

"Unlike **some** people around here, I enjoy my job," Hank glared at him.

"Then why do **you** have a resume on here?" Scott asked.

"A man can dream, can't he?" Hank sighed.

"Maybe I should put one on there," Logan remarked.

"Yes, I can imagine **your** resume skills," Hank grinned. "Slicing people into ribbons, destruction of public property, and to be able to put the fear of God into the students."

"In other words experience in security, landscaping and management," Logan pointed out. "I'd be a natural for practically any job."

"Look at this," Scott pointed to a headline on the website. "Telltale Signs You Work with Monkeys."

"Well I certainly know you people drive me bananas sometimes," Logan admitted. "And lord knows Beast tends to go ape."

"Ha, Ha…" Hank gave him a look. "Very amusing."

"I thought so," Logan smirked. "What does it say?"

"Well one of them says that your boss acts like Tarzan," Scott said. "Of course that's completely…"

"AAAAHHHHHHAAAHAHAHAHAHAA!" A Tarzan like yell could be heard outside the window. They looked out only to see Shipwreck zoom by and then zoom back up. A bungee cord suspended him and he was wearing some kind of caveman outfit. He knocked on the window when he stopped upside down. "Uh, a little help here?"

The mutants looked at each other. Logan went and opened the window. "Me Logan, you Stupid."

"Just get me down," Shipwreck groaned.

"Well you asked for it," Logan shot out of his claws.

"No! No! Not like **that!"** Shipwreck gasped. Too late. Logan cut through the cord and Shipwreck fell.

"AAAHHHHHH!" Shipwreck cried out.

THUD!

"I'm okay…" Shipwreck said weakly.

"Must have landed on his head," Xavier smirked.

"No…" Logan looked out the window. "Storm."

"SHIPWRECK GET OFF OF ME!"

KABOOM!

"Does anybody want to know why…?" Scott began to ask as the storm clouds gathered and lightning flashed.

"Knowing Shipwreck it's either a stunt to get Ororo's attention, he lost a bet or a combination of the two," Logan shut the window.

"It worked," Hank winced as they heard Shipwreck screaming. "Which leads us to another sign if you are working with a group of monkeys: Your co-workers acting like animals."

"BOBBY YOU ARE SO DEAD!" Rogue could be heard screaming upstairs.

"BLAST HIM!" Tabitha screamed.

BOOM! BOOM!

"Not just our colleagues…" Hank sighed.

"OW! OW!" Bobby screamed.

"Whose turn is it this time?" Logan sighed.

"Mine I believe…" Hank sighed as he got up and left.

"Amazing how accurate this thing is," Logan grunted. He read some more. "Your workplace is a zoo. Well I wouldn't…Uh oh…"

"What?" Scott asked. Then he saw what Logan saw. "Oh no…"

Penny bounded in wearing a very floral yellow hat that was skewered by her sharp hair. Her face was covered in cake crumbs and she had a sash around her shoulder that said DAUGHTERS OF THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION. She looked very happy.

"This is not good is it?" Scott gulped.

"I'm afraid not…" Xavier sighed as the phone rang down the hallway. "Uh, Scott don't answer that."

"Maybe I should check that job hunting website and put my own resume up?" Scott moaned as the phone continued ringing. "Couldn't hurt, right?"

"Yeah just to see who makes an offer…" Logan groaned.


End file.
